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God, i need you to reshape my image of you. this impression that i’ve had of you, that is not truly you, i’m sorry for allowing it to affect how i approach you and let you speak to me.
these faltering friendships that make my heart heavy- i’m sorry that i’ve seen you as an unfaithful friend; unfair and apathetic. i need you to show me your faithfulness and concern for my heart.
these experiences of emotional abuse, manipulation and abandonment- they weren’t you. they were flawed humans, unaware of their actions toward me. that wasn’t you. you wouldn’t leave me to fend for myself or use my pain for your own, selfish advantage. please, show me that you are my hero; that i can find you and that you would scour the earth to find me.
those times when i felt second to everything; when i thought my needs weren’t as important or my time not as worthwhile- that wasn’t you. please, reveal to me how desperate your heart is for me. i need to know.
these images that i’ve plastered to you- they aren’t you. you aren’t human; your knowledge isn’t human; your love isn’t human; your power isn’t human. i need you to prove these blurry impressions wrong, so wrong. i need you to reshape my idea of who you are.
these desires in my heart that are going unmet, unanswered- i need to know that the silence isn’t because you don’t care. i know you can; i need to know you want to.
make me new. remake my idea of you. i need you to.